The Week's Most Talked About Book: When I Married My Mother by Jo Maeder
Non Fiction
DaCapo Press
May 2009
Everyone has a story to share about their upbringing. But few can tell a story as hilarious and as down-home as Jo Maeder, author of “When I Married My Mother.”
Mothers have a knack for choosing the most inappropriate times to share their daughters’ blunders, crushes and even the dreaded story of all stories – the day their little girls’ periods arrived. Maeder, “the incurable story junkie,” turns the tables on her eccentric mother, Mama Jo, and pens a tell-all memoir of an unlikely journey with a mother she ”hardly talked about,” according to her best friend, Michele.
Can Maeder, a jet-setting disc jockey in New York, and Mama Jo, a hoarder and doll collector in Richmond, Virginia, come to terms with their past?
Maeder, at the objection of friends and a “you’ll be back in a month” warning, purchases a modest home in Greensboro, North Carolina, to share with ailing Mama Jo. It’s only a 10-minute drive from her born-again, Baptist Conservative brother, Arthur and his wife.
“Operation Mama Jo” begins with pills and a prayer, but ends with elbow grease, hired help, more medication, laughter and tears. Readers can identify with both mother and daughter as they prepare for a combined life in the South. Mama Jo’s doll collection, inspired by her grandmother, great-grandmother and great-aunt, seem endless. And six weeks later, Mama Jo, somewhat apprehensive, joins her daughter, the city girl who also wonders what she has gotten herself into.
“You’re not in New York.” Maeder loses count of the number of times she has to be reminded. Will she ever grow accustom to southern accents, prayer before dinner, posted signs that read “no swearing” and most irritating of all, wild animals constantly invading her back yard?
As the two explore life and each other, the daughter lets go of the former mother – unemotional, secretive and unavailable, and embraces the new mother – funny, sweet, gracious and refreshing. On the road, they would each pop a peppermint into their mouths, and seek out their next great adventure, cementing a precious, three-year bond.
I was astonished at how easy it was to get her ready. I offered her a few choices of pants and shirts, enjoying my role as valet and image consultant. She picked one, and that was that. I thought of all the times she’d dressed me as a child, and now I was doing it for her. Was she thinking the same?
How ironic that this displaced DJ, who once referred to her mother’s dolls as creepy, realizes that she can learn a lot from collectibles and even “junk.” A history lesson is in the making as she unpacks box after box. And with each unveiling, a memory is stirred, a secret investigated. She admits it’s not easy to part with keepsakes after all.
This light-hearted memoir captures your heart, along with the complicated, intergenerational mother-daughter dance of life. Maeder proves it’s never too late to make peace with your mother … and yourself.
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